Your Sanders analysis revisions are due Monday (Periods 3/5) and Tuesday (Period 6). Please attach a new copy to the old copy with my comments when you turn it in during class.
As you revise, this guide may be useful.
Combine Sentences for More Effective Analysis
Avoid a string of short, disconnected sentences unless you intend to use them for effect. They tend to make your writing less natural. It also makes the writing choppy for the reader. See what I mean?
Example sentence: Sanders also uses the metaphor “the mind is like a cookie cutter and the land is dough.” This metaphor shows how we as Americans use the same shaped ideas everywhere we go even though the land we use changes.
Revision: Sanders metaphorically argues that Americans treat the land as “dough” cut by a “cookie cutter,” suggesting that we use the same ideas everywhere we go even as the land changes.
Rewrite a section of your text combining 2+ sentences into a more powerful sentence here:
Use Powerful Analysis That Makes a Claim
Make sure that your analysis actually says something more than identifying a device. Give it power.
Example Sentence: Sanders compares Americans with the Israelites searching for the Promised Land.
Revision: Sanders alludes to the biblical “Promised Land,” ironically juxtaposing the Israelites’ arduous journey for a homeland with Americans’ endless search for a place they’ll never find.
Analyzing Metaphors
There are two parts of a metaphor, the vehicle (the object whose attributes are borrowed) and the tenor (the subject to which attributes are ascribed). Thinking about each of those elements should make your argument better developed. Ask, why, for instance, Sanders chose to compare our imposition of values to a cookie cutter and dough.
Sample: Sanders alludes to the biblical “Promised Land,” ironically juxtaposing the Israelites’ arduous journey for a homeland with Americans’ endless search for a place they’ll never find.
Everything is an Argument
Topic sentences need to be arguments, not just subjects.
Example Topic Sentence: Sanders (paragraphs 2-3) addresses Rushdie’s argument that migration is beneficial.
Revision: Sanders argues (paragraphs 2-3) that Rushdie’s defense of migration ignores the damage migrants often do to the land and others.
Other Elements to Focus On
- Use plentiful detail from the text, analyzing how Sanders uses language and devices.
- Explain why he uses the specific details and language he uses, showing how it contributes to argument as a whole.
- Don’t use outside references, except in introduction and conclusion. Stick to the analyzing Sanders.
- Introductions are better when they start with specific details, then move to general claims.
