Below are a few general issues that you should consider as you write your revisions of your Kelley analysis essays:
- Analysis means how and why. How and why.
- Need to avoid literal analysis/summary of any sections of the piece. Focus on analyzing her use of language and strategies, not telling what she said.
- Don’t divide the piece in such a way that you create tiny, insignificant paragraphs.
- Commas go inside quotations marks.
- Topic sentences should be focused on arguments above subjects.
- Use the term pathos when appropriate. Isn’t it in this piece?
- Thesis statement should definitely say something more sophisticated than “Kelley uses rhetorical devices…”
- Stop telling me that a particular line or phrase “catches the reader’s attention.” More sophisticated analysis!
- Tone is the author/speaker’s attitude towards a subject.
- Embed quotations correctly.
- Make sure you have an adequate number of points of analysis. Rather than belaboring a single point, address many points.
If you are interested in reading an essay the College Board gave a high score, check it out here. It doesn’t follow all the rules we’ve discussed and certainly has some issues, but it’s an interesting piece to look at.
